


Omoide

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-13
Updated: 2007-11-13
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuri has a dream of Julia’s past and finds it disturbingly real -- and really disturbing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Omoide

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-read by [](http://hisoka44.livejournal.com/profile)[**hisoka44**](http://hisoka44.livejournal.com/)

Yuuri woke up disoriented. The moment he opened his eyes and saw the furniture’s shapes standing out in the half-darkness of his room, he knew who he was, and where. So he had been dreaming.

Yuuri shuddered. It had felt so real.

In that dream he had been a woman. This was something that had already happened sometimes in his dreams. Yuuri had not stopped much to think about it: dreams were but dreams ; they were not real. But this particular one was different. The problem was not that he had been a woman in bed with a man either. No, things like that happened in dreams…

But it had been so vivid: every single touch and the reactions they had elicited, every moan, the loving whispers, all those had felt real, and now… Now Yuuri wondered if it had really been a normal dream.

In that dream, he had been a woman…and blind.

Yuuri knew he had Julia’s soul. Could this dream have really been her memories?

But if it was, Yuuri did not like the questions it raised. It was not something he would like to think about with a sleeping Wolfram beside him, so he stood up and put slippers on, deciding to go on a stroll to think for a while. He would not have been able to sleep again anyway.

Yuuri wandered aimlessly through the corridors, his thoughts going in circles with the shock: could this have been real? Was it really Julia’s memories?

But who could he ask for confirmation? He could not go and ask Ardalbelt if his dream could really have happened. Yuuri shuddered. He would not. And as for Conrad…

"Your Majesty? What are you doing out of bed at this hour?" There he was, Yuuri’s godfather, perfectly dressed in his uniform. Yuuri wondered if he ever slept. "Is something wrong?"

Yuuri looked into Conrad’s eyes with round pleading eyes ; he wanted to know: had it been real?… But how could he ask?

"Yuuri?"

"I had a dream," he said finally, dropping his head.

He could basically hear the amused relief in Conrad‘s voice. "What was so terrible about it?"

Yuuri looked back at Conrad with a reprimanding glare. This was no laughing matter. If those had been real memories… Yuuri wished so hard that it was but a dream."You don’t understand, Conrad," he pleaded. "I… I’m afraid that it was not a dream."

Conrad became more serious. "Do you mean you saw the future, as the Maou?"

Yuuri shook his head. "No." Could he really tell Conrad? Because even if Conrad had told him that he had not been Julia’s lover, she had still been very important to him and… but no: Yuuri could tell Conrad anything. Besides, he had no one else to tell. "I think it was the past."

Conrad felt relief again. "What in the past could disturb you so, Yuuri?"

"I … those weren’t really my memories Conrad," Yuuri blurted out. "I mean. I was a woman in that dream." Then, more slowly, reluctantly he added. "I think this happened to Julia."

Conrad’s eyes widened for a Shibuya second, but Yuuri found it reassuring that the soldier’s smile never wavered. Conrad merely gestured to suggest they should sit down on a nearby bench. "Tell me, what happened?"

Yuuri felt his face redden and sat down to try and hide his turmoil. This really was embarrassing, but hopefully it was just a dream, or his imagination playing tricks on him -- which would be a relief as well. " I… the woman in the dream, I mean… was in bed with a man." Yuuri let the words spill out of his mouth while Conrad was sitting down, then fell silent.

"Oh." Conrad did not say what he thought about that. "Surely it could not have been that bad: everyone who knew her loved her ; no one would ever have dreamt to hurt her. Even Ardalbelt was as meek as a lamb when in her company."

Yuuri shook his head. This was not it either. "No. No."

"What do you mean, Yuuri?"

"It was not Ardalbelt, all right?!" Yuuri exclaimed, standing up again, feeling as guilty as if he had cheated on his fiancé himself, thinking of his own reactions in the dream, the feeling they had left afterwards.

"Oh," Conrad said again. "But Julia had already lived numerous years when she was engaged to him. She was not old -- as a mazoku -- but she could still have had lovers before," he tried to placate him and stood up as well.

Yuuri did not know what to trust anymore: his dream or Conrad‘s words. "Did you ever lie to me, Conrad?" He wanted to be sure. He needed Conrad’s denegation to fully trust him over the dream. And then it would be all right: just his overactive imagination and most hidden heart’s desire playing with his mind.

Conrad remained silent. He thought about his first meeting with Yuuri, the young Maou asking him if they had ever met. He thought about that terrible time he had told his king -- and thus helped persuading himself -- that Yuuri was not his master anymore.

"I might not always have told you all the truth," he admitted.

Yuuri shook his head. He did not want to hear this ; he needed to be able to trust Conrad. "Would you tell me the truth Conrad?" He implored.

Seeing the young man’s distress, Conrad nodded. "What do you wish to ask me?"

"Did you lie to me then?" Yuuri blurted out the question that had been bothering him from the start. "When you said Julia was not your lover, did you lie?"

Conrad froze. He felt his heart breaking at the implications of this question. Yuuri had dreamt Julia’s memories of her, with him. Conrad felt immensely guilty that Yuuri should be so disturbed by it but he could do nothing else: dejectedly, he nodded.

"Why?" Yuuri’s eyes were teary. "Why, Conrad? Why did you lie to me?"

This was more than a simple matter of feelings. Conrad felt as if all the trust they had shared between them was suddenly crumbling, already all but gone. He was loosing all the previous connections he had built up with Yuuri and to salvage whatever he could of it, he tried to justify himself. "Because you are not Julia," he said. "You did not have any of her memories then. You are not her and as far as everyone else was concerned, there never had been anything more than friendship between us." How sorry he was, that Yuuri had had this dream tonight, but still he could not have acted any differently. Now still, he could not tell the full truth. "I could do nothing but lie."

"Why?" Yuuri still asked. "I wouldn’t have told anyone, you know that, don’t you?" Yuuri felt betrayed by Conrad’s lack of trust in him. "I just wanted to understand you more."

They were both silent for a few moments, looking away from each other. Then, Yuuri made a small move, as if to leave and Conrad spoke up again, despaired -- anything to keep Yuuri by his side even a second longer -- and spoke up the truth, the one he had been so afraid to tell.

"I lied because I did not want you to think my heart was already taken!"

Yuuri’s eyes widened and he turned back, towards Conrad. Conrad was looking at him with saddened eyes, as if waiting for his offered heart to be trampled on.

Slowly, incredulously, his eyes never leaving Conrad’s, Yuuri’s face broke in a marvellous, grateful, loving smile.

Conrad did not really understand what brought Yuuri’s change of mind, but he still answered with a wavering smile of his own.

Yuuri sighed, reassured. He should have known there had been a reason. He should have believed his heart and trusted in Conrad from the start. Still, he was glad he had asked. Now he knew both that Conrad had loved Julia, and that Yuuri was more important than her to him now.  



End file.
